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My only goal this Round is to write a test mile of 250 words a day.  So far, so good.  I have written over 800 words in the past two days, parts of two blog posts, one of which I will post on my lunch break today.

What have I learned: I’ve learned that sometimes the words don’t want to come.  I find that if I just rant about something, then I often find myself writing into the topic I had planned, or I find another subject that is interesting to me as well.

I’ve also learned, or rather, become re-acquainted with my magpie nature.  I have been researching topics for an article I need to write for the day job; I can write about anything in the realm of medieval literature, which leads to my problem.  I think of one topic, go grab some books, and find ten more topics in the books.  It has been a constant flow of “Ooh, shiny!’  The bad part is that I would be long retired if I wrote all the articles that grab me; the good part is that I am finding creative ideas as well.  Although the creative “ooh, shiny” is frustrating, I know that I can at least follow some of those leads.

So, all in all, a good start to the round.  Thanks for stopping by, and please go encourage everyone else here.

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Although I may eventually refine and expand my goals for this Round, I am going to start with a very simple goal. I am going to write a test mile every day of at least 250 words. These words may be part of a blog post, as I am gong to resurrect my blogging schedule, part of a WIP, or edits to earlier works or posts. I am going to prettify and edit my earlier posts on the history of language and literary history, as well as some of my personal musings. If you are interested in the Round of Words in 80 Days, check it out here. There is a great, supportive community of authors in this group; check out their goals here.

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Round One of 2012 is over!  I have given some thought to the past 80 days.  Although I failed on some goals and did better on others than I thought I would, I’m more pleased than not at how things went.

Writing: I made a very small goal for this—250 words a day, due to the uproar I knew would occur in the rest of my life.  I accomplished about 65-75% on this test mile.  Some of it was ranting; a lot was thinking through life, work, my childhood; some was organizing, and clearing mental space.

Family: This Round was abundant in its problems with parents, parents-in-law, siblings, and children. As I look back, I am intrigued by how the problems brought my husband, my kids and me closer together.  This closeness escaped my parents and my siblings, where the problems we face served to drive us even further apart.

Friends: Some socializing with ROWers IRL has been great. I was sad to say goodbye to C. M. Cipriani  but glad I had the chance to see her before I left.  In upstate New York, I have been greeted warmly by Marcia Richards  and Kat Morrissey, and have already had IRL meetings with Eden Mabee  and Shan Jeniah .  No one is very nearby, which makes the warm greetings mean even more.

Exercise: I have been walking a lot more in the new neighborhood, which is a very walking-friendly part of town.  Hubby and I walked to a bakery for breakfast last Saturday for a round trip of about a mile, and we will often walk in the evenings, to the pharmacy last night (another mile round trip) for example, rather than jump in the car.  There are so many lovely state parks and hiking areas nearby we want to explore, so there will be more long walks in the future.

Day job: I’m still in the honeymoon, where people are so very happy I’m here, so it’s hard to say, but it looks promising.

What I have learned: Although I have known this before, the friends I have met through ROW80 are almost the most supportive people I know.  Your comments have celebrated with me, consoled me, and buoyed me up.  Thank you all. I haven’t been as good this Round at replying to your comments, returning visits,  and commenting on your blogs, but I want to do better next Round.

I was reminded how writing peers into the dark spaces, presses on the scars, calls the little girl out of her shell.  Much of what I have written in the past is so raw and painful still that I have had a hard time reading it again, and I remain unsure whether it can or should be brought into the light, or might better just go back into the drawer.  There is something to be said for exposing these feelings, but I have no magic answers.

I am more and more drawn to embodying my heroine, as Gene Lempp suggested to me.  I am playing with ideas, and plan to do more with that during the break.

Looking to Round 2: I want to resurrect the blog, which will entail some editing of earlier blog posts and working on redesigning the paid site.  I need to think through my future professional writing as well as the dissertation, and to figure out the place, space, and scope of the creative writing.  Not much, eh?

If you’re not familiar with ROW80, consider joining us in the next Round, which starts April 2^nd.  Details are here.

If you are familiar, go check out how everyone did this Round here.

 

 

 

 

 

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Well, here we are at the tail end of the Round. I don’t feel like I accomplished what I wanted, but I did get some journalling and outlining done.

Day job: Although I have a lot of things to do in the job, I realize that I do know a lot about the work, and feel comfortable in the management position. 

New town:  I am definitely comfortable in the town. My husband and I walked to a little family bakery a little over a half-mile away this morning. It was so wonderful not to be dependent on jumping into the car for everything. I am heading out this afternoon to a coffee shop a few miles away to meet Shan Jeniah, continuing a very nice trend of meeting ROWers in person.

What I learned:  I had a strong and surprising reaction to a question from my academic writing group, which on the face of it was an innocent question: what is hard about writing?

My answer is that I don’t feel that what interests me is of interest to the scholarly community, which is not true. What is true is that my scholarship is in a field that is not highly prized by the discipline in which I am getting my Ph.D. I have spent far too much time to change disciplines, so I need to soldier on, but I was blindsided by how bereft and alone I feel about the situation.

Some of the difficulty is that I live several hundred miles from my dissertation advisor and committee, so that it is easy for them to forget me. I have not been as insistent as I should have been, only partly due to the constraints of my old day job. Unfortunately, it also plays into my “professional good girl” syndrome; after the love and praise I found in elementary school and college, I found myself set adrift in graduate school. I have had several professors tell me that it is not late-19^th century Germany, and I have no place in 21^st century scholarship. After getting well over halfway through my dissertation, I realized with horror that I really was in the wrong discipline.

The future: Although I haven’t set my goals for the next Round, I feel certain that my tackling the dissonance of the Ph.D. will be part of it. I know that I will have to bend more than I am comfortable to get the degree, and I know that I will have to work on my stubborn Irish soul about that.

I don’t yet know what place creative writing will have in the next Round, but I am determined not to give up the test mile. Buckle up, my friends, it may be a bumpy ride!

At this penultimate check-in, please make an effort to go encourage the ROWers here.

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I’m not convinced that it makes a whole lot of sense for me to check-in, but I think it’s worse not to show up, even if all I can say is “not much.”

The house is coming along slowly; we don’t quite have wireless yet as our router decided to go into the great beyond somewhere in Delaware.

I spent yesterday buying work clothes, which was difficult as I hate to go clothes shopping.  I was a full-blown anorexic as a teenager, and although I joke that I recovered far too well, the truth is that I never really recovered from the skewed self-image. I avoid mirrors, so trying on clothes in the three-sided mirror is torture.  My husband was along for some necessary cheerleading–he has a good eye for clothes that will flatter me, and is honest without being brutal about how things look.

I have a character that does not much like herself, so my muse was taking notes on how I was feeling through the several-hour process.  Something good needs to come out of it!  Seriously, I did get several good work outfits for my new management role, where I can’t dress as casually as I could in Florida.

I start work tomorrow, which has me rather nervous.  I am hoping to be able to use the test mile to work out some of that fear, which the logical part of me knows is unwarranted.

What I accomplished: I did manage a couple of days of journalling with the test mile.

What I learned: The anorexic is only dormant.  I have to find ways to get healthy and lose weight that do not bring the anorexic back to full tilt.  Several ROWers are doing some very good series on health, like Marcia Richards; I am also finding August McLaughlin‘s blog, especially her honest post on her own eating disorder, very helpful.

On a happy note, I met fellow ROWer Eden Mabee for tea and an indulgent pastry at a very dangerous shop in Albany.  It’s interesting to meet someone in person that one has known online for a while; there’s so much in common, and yet so many topics that don’t come up in the on-line writer community environment.  I had a lovely time, and garnered many good suggestions on everything from historical places to check out to good grocery stores.

It makes me think about Kait Nolan‘s post about not having any writers nearby.  I certainly felt much that way when I lived in Florida; I met C. M. Cipriani a couple of times, but we were the only writers I could find in the area.  I am looking forward to meeting more of the writers I have met online who live in the area.

Also, maybe by Sunday’s check-in, I will actually have done some writing!  It would be nice to come into the end of the Round with some writing, no?

Please go encourage the rest of the ROWers in the final stretch here.

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Howdy from upstate New York. I must say that, although the move had several glitches, and there are many, many boxes still to be unpacked, I am happy. It’s an interesting feeling, a contentment I haven’t felt in a long time.

 

What have I accomplished: since Wednesday, I have set up the kitchen, dining room, and sunroom. My muse isn’t absent, but rather quiet. I found a box of journals I wrote when I was in my teens and twenties; my muse actually squee-ed, “ooh, fodder.”

 

I had hoped to get the study set up, but due to a major glitch in the move, the desk chair and part of the drafting board got left in Florida, along with one of our cars—a long story that bears telling at some point. But here is a picture of the mostly blank canvas. 

The study to be

 

What have I learned: I am a nester, and I’m rather good at it. It seems to be my answer to the loneliness and disruption of my childhood. I enjoy making a comfortable home that is cozy and welcoming.  I don’t remember anyone ever visiting my parents’ house, or rather, that the few relatives who visited were just as uncomfortable as my parents.  It’s interesting that a house can so thoroughly reflect the attitude of its inhabitants.

 

I hope to get back to the test mile tomorrow, or even later today. I’m happy as a clam to be back on the interwebs!

 

Please go encourage the ROWers in the home stretch here.

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This checkin will be brief, due to lack of internet, but the good news is that we have managed to get ourselves and most of our possessions to upstate New York.

What have I learned: I have too much cr*p. Also, never trust the rental truck company when they assure you that your car will fit on the tow dolly. Ah, well, there are tons of stories to tell about this trip, but they will have to wait for internet, coming this Saturday.

We really like the house, the neighborhood, and the town; no place is perfect, but we’re liking it so far.

Much more in the next checkin!

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Well, that’s a bit of an overstatement, because we are still packing the old place.  The furniture will be put on the truck tomorrow, and the caravan begins on Friday.  Woo-hoo!

I haven’t written in the past two days, without much of an excuse.  I have been exhausted, as things have come up with both sets of parents that have involved several long, daily phone calls to assisted living facilities managers, emergency room doctors, social workers, and siblings.  Having these talks at any time is awful; having them while we are trying to move is just enervating. I know it won’t really be any easier when I am more settled in the frozen north , but it will feel better.

So, not much of a check-in from me, I fear.  I will try to check-in on Sunday, although I will still be getting acquainted with my newest grandson, and may choose him over my laptop (imagine!) By Wednesday, we will have all the furniture in the new house, and boxes everywhere, but I will at least have a moment or two to check-in.

Please go encourage all the ROWers here

And a slightly belated birthday wish to my Brigid, who turned 5 yesterday. 

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Although I hope to continue to post check-ins, the move is upon us. The next two weeks are the crux of the move; the movers will show up on Thursday; we will drive out of town on Friday. I have to work through Thursday to preserve health benefits and income to bridge the gap until the new job’s income and benefits kick in, so the packing is going to take over the rest of my waking hours this week.

We will visit our eldest daughter and her family on the way. She lives exactly halfway between Gainesville and Albany. Then it will be on to the new house to undo all that I have done this coming week. The irony of that does not escape me, and figures in my new story.

Test mile: Although most of what I am writing is brainstorming instead of “real” writing, I turn to writing for sanity these days. To my surprise, I am having a lot of fun working through the sentient boxes story.

Packing: I can see the headlight of the train at the end of the tunnel. At least twice a day, I go to get something that has already been packed. It’s good, but frustrating. Our condo looks like an episode of Hoarders, with little pathways through the rooms, surrounded by piles of boxes. I laughed hysterically when the realtor wanted to come take pictures, saying she could work around the boxes.

What I have learned: Lately my inner nerd has been showing more than usual. 90% of the packing is done, so the detritus is either things that have to be packed at the last minute–the coffeemaker–or things that should be sold, given away, or tossed. My husband is the “throw it all in a box to deal with in Albany.” I hate that kind of procrastination. Don’t get me wrong, I have my favorite forms of procrastination, but I am enough of a nerd that “sort stuff later” is anathema. Hey, my day job is to organize information.

I am, however, restraining myself to a comment or two that I do not want to leave boxes unopened for a year again. Both of us are prickly as heck, which means that I am still learning how to deal with my husband, even though we will have been married for twenty-five years this summer. Interesting lesson.

The sentient boxes story is definitely horror or dark fantasy, which is such a huge departure for me. I have never written anything even close to this sort of thing. I have always thought that I could only write in my chosen genre. Who knew?

Please encourage all the other ROWers here.

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My pride over replying to all the comments on my check-ins was short-lived.  Ah, well.  I do plan to reply to all the comments before the next check-in.  I do read them; they mean a lot.

Test mile: I managed to eke out the test mile 2 of the 3 past days, but I see the narrowing of the time tunnel ahead.  I will probably have to suspend writing while on the road, but I will try to continue in the meantime.
I did not manage to get the post on my other sites to act as a placeholder until I can get back to a regular blogging schedule, but I hope to do so before the next check-in.

Packing:  Gah.  I am at the point where I daydream of minimalism, and wonder why I bought all this stuff in the first place.  Of course, I didn’t buy it; I inherited most of it.  While I like some of the pieces, I yearn for my place not to look like indigent graduate student digs. Imagine, some people actually have matching furniture in their living rooms!

What I have learned: I don’t react well to stress.  Big surprise, but I didn’t realize how badly I react to good stress.  I’m excited and looking forward to the move and the new day job, but I have dreams of the boxes becoming animate in the night, shifting forward when I am not looking.  It’s a lovely metaphor and could be a really freaky short story, but in the heart-pounding dark of the night, not so cool.

I’ve also learned the importance to take some time to connect with friends.  I met C.M. Cipriani for a long, farewell lunch the other day; she and I had an interesting conversation about self-pubbed “authors,” (if you read her blog post here, you will understand the quotation marks) who do not edit, proofread, or in other ways improve their texts before they visit them on the public like yellow fever.  Even if we did trash-talk people who drag down our works in the same way that the washer on the porch next door and the three wrecked cars in the front yard two doors down kill our property values, it was such a wonderful thing to sit and share in person.  

I have not been on Twitter or Facebook much in the last several weeks, and I realize (again) how much I miss my online friends.  I need and appreciate your support, and can only hope that I can support you when you need it.

Please encourage all the other ROWers here.