ROW80

February 15th Check-in The Dark is Lifting

Image from Public Domain Image.com

First, thank you to all the ROWers who have commented on my last few check-ins. Even though I have not yet replied to them, I read them all; your kindness and support often brought tears to my eyes. There are so many wonderful people in this group.

Second, I have not been active on my main site or my Lapidary Prose blog for so long: my apologies. It may be a few weeks yet; I ask your patience as I slowly return to regularly scheduled blogging..

The situation with my mother-in-law is worse–she hit and spat upon someone in her assisted living unit, so they have had enough. I can’t blame them.

My younger son’s situation is improving; I’m proud of him that he picked himself up, dusted himself off, and applied to (and got accepted at) a 2-year college, where he will start taking classes this summer. He didn’t want to lose more school–and that takes some moxie. Furthermore, my older son applied to the same school and also got accepted, so he will be going to school after working for two years. I’m very proud of him, too.

There’s not much else to say, really. I spend my days saying no to new projects at the day job, and my evenings packing (woo-hoo). While time definitely goes by more quickly when one is, um, older, I think these last few weeks before a major life change zip by for everyone.

So to my goals:

Test Mile: After wallowing in the Slough of Despond (gotta love Pilgrim’s Progress) for so long, I took Gene Lempp’s advice and started daydreaming/writing about an adventure where I am the heroine. It has been slow going, but honestly I think it fits my temperament better to write positive things. It helped immensely to get the rotting leaves out of the well, and there’s more shoveling to do, but I do feel better. I’ve always responded well to the “act like it, until you feel it” form of therapy, so it should come as no surprise.

What I learned: I received a huge dose of kindness and support from so many of you; it helped so much that I just might have learned not to hide the next time I feel like a troglodyte.

I’m learning about my strengths instead of wallowing in my weaknesses.

I learned that maybe my kids are all right, despite their incomplete frontal lobes that lead them to make stupid choices occasionally, and despite their inheriting their mother’s stubbornness.

Finally, I learned that my muse can be coaxed out of her cave by pretty, shiny things–“look, a happy story, isn’t that nice, yes, come on, one more step. . .”

I’d like to thank everyone who has started following my blog in the last few days: kiwimedievalist, a fellow medievalist who is in the academic writing group with me; Jenny Keller Ford, a ROWer many of you know, and should check out if you don’t; and Rameshnanda, a blogger with interesting mash-ups.  Welcome!  I encourage all of my followers to look at these and the other folks who follow me–they are a very interesting group with a wide variety of blogs.

Please go encourage all the ROWers here.

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14 thoughts on “February 15th Check-in The Dark is Lifting”

  1. Hi Elizabeth! I’m sorry you’ve been pelted by so many obstacles the past few weeks. They didn’t come up with the saying “when it rains, it pours” for nothing. It’s true, whether it’s randomness of the universe or some other thing I don’t understand. It’ll get easier, and you’ll make it through. I’m glad some things have already begun turning in better directions and hope it’s all sorted out soon. Good luck with the packing – I’m still at it too! Let us know if you need company after work 😀

    1. Thanks, Lauren! There is some weird universal rule about bad things coming in clusters, isn’t there? The only respite is that good things tend to do the same.

      I would love to be packing buddies, especially now that I am down to the little detritus that reproduces in the night; I hate packing that stuff! How’s your packing going?

  2. I love the idea of writing something with you as the heroine, it is nice to be in control even if it is only for a while! Sounds like you have had lots of family things going on and that can make focus hard.

    I hope you enjoy the rest of your week and don’t get buried under your packing!

  3. I hope things continue to lighten up for you. It’s difficult when life sets aside blocks of time to kick you while you are down. Sometimes it seems to pick on some people more than others.

    Sound like you are doing well, though. I like the daydreaming idea. That is kind of where I go when I finally make myself do the dishes. And somehow, it makes bad days less sucky.

    Hang in there, you’re doing great.

    1. Thank you, Wendy! It does seem sometimes as though I have the “Kick me” sign on my back; I know I’m not alone in that feeling, but there are times I do wonder what I did!

      I like the daydreaming–it does help with sucky days, doesn’t it? Thanks for the encouragement, Wendy.

    1. Thank you, Sharon. It does seem several people have been having problems recently. I think it is great that you hung in there through your recent problems, too. I appreciate your encouragement, and hope things are going well for you.

  4. So wonderful to read that the darkness is lifting. Life obstacles can get us down but having support from friends can help so much. Gene always has wonderful ideas – I like a story with you as the heroine – great way to gain empowerment.

    I hope the rest of your week is positive and light!

    Marie

    1. Thank you so much, Marie, for stopping by with encouragement. This online community is so supportive, I often forget that I’ve not met most of you in person.

      I am having fun with being the heroine; it’s been decades since I did that, and it feels really good!

  5. This post made my soul do another happy little leap of recognition. A very wise unschooler , Sandra Dodd (www.sandradodd.com) once suggested I turn from ugliness and toxicity, “And toward the light in my beautiful children’s faces.”

    When I read that, I opened up to positivity in a whole new way. Now I strive for that light to shine out of them, and Jim, and me, always…..and even the rough spots are smoother, shorter, and more peaceful.

    I have a thought about those prefrontal lobes. I believe it’s gobblygook. Here’s why….

    A few generations ago, people of 13 were considered adults, People of 15 or 16 were marrying, starting families, maybe moving far away from their support network.

    They were clearly capable of making major decisions. I think that as-yet unfinished frontal lobe gave them the ability to take the kinds of risks needed to do those things.

    I believe it’s a culture that sees people as juveniles sometimes well into their 20s that really causes the problems….

    The 10 and 7.5 year olds here make an impressive array of sophisticated decisions already, and show both pretty good judgment and a good deal of perception in how they do so. So do their friends who have a good deal of personal freedom.

    At their ages, I KNOW their brains aren’t fully developed yet. So if they can make wise decisions now, I expect they will be able to make increasingly more complex and refined judgments as they grow older and get more practice.

    It sounds like your son is rolling with the punches, which is more than I did after my own college troubles. Sounds like he has supportive parents, too, who maybe can help him see how very valuable big mistakes can be for improving judgment in a hurry!

    I am so looking forward to you in Albany, It made my smile while I was at the State Museum with Miah, Lise, and their cousin, Cameron, knowing maybe someday we could meet there, and there’d maybe be someone who wanted to look at the things a little more slowly as the kids bounce off to the next adventure (my next update will have a photo preview for you!).

    So happy things have lightened for you. It’s hard to be caught in one of life’s knottier places!

  6. Wendy, have you tried any eco-friendly dish soaps? I use a brand (don’t want to plug on Elizabeth’s blog, but would happily share by email) that smells like a spa. Makes me LOVE doing my dishes, even with a high waist, low counter, and scoliatic injured back! I do them a few at a time, and just let myself breath in that steam…ahhhh!

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