Much as I hate to admit it, I fell off the wagon a bit since Wednesday. Because I know that self-flagellation is not part of the ROW80 spirit, I am looking at what I can learn from it. First, it wasn’t a total fail; I did ruminate and scribble every day, but calling it the test mile seems over-inflated. However, I’m climbing back on the wagon, and following Kait’s advice in the check-in, going to make the test mile 300 words (“baby steps” is still one of my mantras).
Life interfered a lot, but not in completely bad ways. I found a cousin of the LaBrea tarpit at the day job, which is bad, but I have some good ideas on how to fix it, so that’s a neutral. I found out that both of my boys (sorry, guys, young men), are coming to live with us for the summer and check out colleges in New York State. So we’ve been working like bees around the house, as the “guest” bedroom was full of boxes (blush) and the study was, well, the study, not another guest bedroom. Although I selfishly mourn the loss of my study a tiny bit, it is a big positive to have them here and getting back into school.
What have I learned: beyond the universally true “life is what happens while you’re making other plans,” there is the lesson to be flexible, accepting, and positive. Comparing the work and stress of getting everything ready to having both sons here for the first time in more than two years, and knowing that they are going back to school, well, there it is no contest.
I also learned that my path isn’t my sons’ path and that is okay. They are good people, and they will find their way in their own time.
Finally, I learned that “should” is a word to be excised from 95% of my thoughts. I had a bit of a struggle on Friday. It happens most birthdays, to be honest, since I use that as a reckoning point—where am I, and where should I be. At first, I was depressed, since I wasn’t where I “should” be with the creative writing. After a pretty miserable hour, I realized that I am where I am, and that is okay. I take a long time to mull, create, tear apart and recreate, then at some point, it gels. And that is really all right.
I hope everyone has a creative, productive week. As always, please go encourage the other ROWers here.