ROW80 Check-in October 23

The past couple of days have been an example of how the universe seems to pile on at times.  My brother has been fighting cancer for several years now, and finished a round of chemo and radiation last Wednesday.  Sunday night, he let me know that all his treatment options have run out. In his usual manner, he was far more interested in how my health problems were being addressed.

I had already been deep in ruminations about life and death, health and illness.  My brother made me think about our birth family and the choices that he (and I) made to fix the mistakes that were made by our parents (without malice, and in ignorance)  when we had our own families.  I have made mistakes with my children, but at least amended the lack of closeness and affection that affected both my brother and myself.

A majority of the past few days have been spent reminiscing, highlighting the good times with my brother and my parents. I am writing down what I would like to remember, perhaps to work into a memoir of sorts. I have often written to put some sort of order in my life, and it is second nature to do it here.

I have been touched by the ROW80 community and its outpouring of support for me during the past weeks.  I will continue to visit with as many of you as I can, hoping to pay your support forward in some way.

Please go visit the other ROWers, whom you can find here.

8 thoughts on “ROW80 Check-in October 23”

  1. Sounds like you have been emersed within the torrid depths of sorrow and reflection, Elizabeth. Dangerous waters to cross alone. Keep a person of comfort close by, and of course, reach out to friends online. I’m sorry to hear of you brother’s prognosis. My sister-in-laws best friends in the same position, although she hasn’t suffered with it for years; she found out she had it, and that it’s untreatable, all within the same month. At 45 yrs, it seems awfully unfair.

    The only good which can come of this kind of news, if you can call it that, is that it teaches us how fragile life can be and therefore, how precious. I hope physically, you’re feeling stronger and look after yourself.

    Sending hugs, Shah X

    1. Thank you for your concern, Shah. My sons (ages 22 and 20) are here at present before returning to university in January. We are very close, and so we have talked a lot about their uncle.

      My own brush with mortality gave me a renewed appreciation of life’s beauty, and my brother’s situation has heightened that awareness.

      Your sister-in-law’s friend faces the incredible unfairness of life, and my heart goes out to her.

      I’m feeling stronger every day physically, and am gaining emotional strength as well.
      Thank you for the hugs! x

  2. It takes serious illness to remind us how fraigile everything is – it is good to write about your life – not just to put your own feelings in perspective , it also helps to validate the past, yourself and also present a viewpoint to your children they may not have have noticed. Helps to make sense of everything, a memoir, autobiography, list of jottings all or any a wonderful gift to the future and to history.

    I am so sorry about your brother it is soo fortunate he has family such as you for support, but you too will need care so make sure you look after yourself. all the best:)

    1. Thank you, Alberta. I have written small things in the past about my early life, trying to tease out why things happened as they did, endeavoring to forgive and, if not forget, use the knowledge gained to be a better person than I had been heretofore.

      And thank you about my brother. You’ve recently been through a lot with your best friend’s husband, I know. It’s easy to think that one is fine, ignoring all the ripples in the deeper water, so I am trying to be more perceptive about what is going on below the surface. Take care, Alberta. Thank you for dropping by.

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