Falling behind the pack

I missed last week’s check-ins entirely, partly due to the snowstorms that slammed into upstate New York.  We  didn’t get hit like Boston or Providence, but it was messy here.  My mood took a dive, however, which was more of an obstruction than the snow.  The day job has become ridiculously busy, with a piling on of projects, many of which have the same due dates. Unfortunately, I’m not in a position to say no to anything for at least a few more months.

A major part of my mood was the return of my doubts about my writing. Well, not my writing as such, but the guilt that I am not pulling my weight with household tasks or spending enough time with my family.  My usual early morning writing time has dissolved into insomnia, and the brain fog is constant.

I’m deeply embarrassed to be so negative. As a sponsor for ROW80, I need to be positive, more of a cheerleader.  I’d love any hints on how to handle this negativity and guilt.

My goal for this week is to write at least 100 words a day on a presentation I have to do in March. Another goal is to look at two draft posts, hoping to get them posted this month. I also plan to reply to comments for at least ten minutes three times this week.  

Please go encourage other ROWers, whom you can find here, on Facebook in the ROW80 group and on Twitter at #ROW80. 

smaller EM

12 thoughts on “Falling behind the pack”

  1. You’re a human and we all feel negative at times. Don’t beat yourself up just because you’re a ROW80 sponsor. If anything, your courage in admitting that you struggle too is helpful to the rest of us.

    Before you guilt yourself over the housekeeping and family time, check in with them to see how they’re feeling about it. Maybe you’re assuming they’re upset and really they understand that writing requires a lot of your time.

    Don’t be embarrassed for being real.

    It’s impossible to be everything to everyone all of the time.

    Figure out what’s keeping you from sleeping. Sleep clears the brain of toxins and thus will fix the brain fog.

    Maybe treat yourself to a 60-minute full-body massage to release all the tension you’ve got built up. Sometimes just remembering to breathe is helpful too.

    As for the workload, I use Kanbanflow (it’s free) to track stuff. I also use the 25-minute pomodoros in it (timed work session followed by the 5 minute breaks where you reward yourself by doing something you enjoy). Perhaps 5 minutes of reading a novel, knitting for 5 minutes, a delicious tea, whatever is a reward to you. I’ve found them really helpful to get through my to-do list without going insane.

    Hope something there helps you.

    1. Thank you for the hints, Raeanne. I will look into Kanbanflow and using a reward system with Pomodoro. I like the idea of a massage, too.

      Even more, I appreciate your gentle chastising not to be so hard on myself. I tend to be an optimist, but I do have a depressive streak that surfaces from time to time. Thank you for the reality check!

  2. Wow, you are not alone! I’ve been doing more time tracking lately, because I feel like such a slacker on my writing–but when I track and see how much I actually DO, it’s very enlightening–it’s just not all actual work on the WIP. As far as the family/guilt, yeah, I’ve been there too, still am sometimes. In addition to seeing if it even bothers them, ask yourself if they’re doing their fair share of chores and such? You work a full-time job, you shouldn’t have to do it all.

    I can also relate to the insomnia–and that affects mood, too. One thing I’ve found that helps is L-Theanine. It’s an amino acid found in green tea, considered to be very safe (though do research it–I’m not a healthcare practitioner). It’s great if your insomnia is like mine, due to racing thoughts keeping you awake. You can take it in daytime too for extra focus and it also helps mood a little, while not making you sleepy.

    Good luck and here’s to a new, better week!

    1. Thank you for the hints, Jennette. I will definitely look into the L-Theanine, because I definitely have the flip-book of things to do racing through my mind at night.

      It also helps to know I’m not alone. I should keep track of the research and back story, since even if it didn’t add into the wordcount, it is writing work.

      Here’s to a better week for us both!

  3. Some days are just going to be rough. Sending you some ~HUGS~

    It’s hard with this delightful (note the sarcasm) weather in this fair state of ours to not deal with the Winter Blues, Blahs and general emotional ickiness. I go through periods of lackluster productivity and moodiness. Sometimes it helps to get out the house and go somewhere, even if you can’t get out because of the mood or the snow or work or the writing, then I find solace in one or more of the following music, binging on Netflix, reading, or something artsy. There is also connecting with other, which is why I love ROW80. I find that my fellow have great incite to some of what ills me (because it has illed them). And I take the internet and often will find the resolve that had been elluding me.

    Hang tight, girl! I got your back!! 🙂

  4. We all have days – weeks – years? where we feel that way. Just hang on and don’t beat yourself up. You will get back on track, when it is time. For now, just relax and let life take you where it will.

  5. feeling low and not on track is hardly a sin or a crime, a writer who also has a job and a family is almost certainly going to be there I should think, I have sim. moments and I only have one family member and a retired how any of you with more to cope with do is beyond me.

    As to being a sponsor with negative feelings well really – get a grip friend:) they exist and its a comfort to the rest of us to know everyone else goes there sometime – ROW80 is about us seeing we are not alone in these problems – as they have said above stop being so hard on yourself – relax – follow all the good advice above and remember we are all on your side:)
    take care:)

    1. Thank you for reminding me of reality, Alberta. I tend to have high expectations of myself, and need to stop measuring myself against an impossible standard.

      Even more, I appreciate your reminding me that you are all on my side. I cannot express how much I appreciate your support. Thank you. ❤

  6. February is a month for blues. With the amount of snow this year, it doubly affects us. Insomnia is so difficult – I find that I have to get up, have warm milk and write. It is more like morning papers – just write out the worries and thoughts that are swirling in my head.
    May your week bring less pressure and more serenity.

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