August 19th Slow Renewal

First, I want to thank everyone who offered suggestions, commiserated with me, and shared their own stories of feeling the summer blahs. It did help to hear from all of you. A chat with a dear friend of mine also helped, as she has seen my ups-and-downs for several years now.

Several suggestions were made to switch up the writing scene, notably by Shah and Laura. Michael gave a great suggestion to get up early, which I had let slide this summer.  I finally dug out my fountain pens (I know, but whatever works, right?), and pulled out the paper.  It has been slow going, but it is going.

I had to work yesterday. I planned on being in for four hours, but it ended up being more like seven.  I didn’t get anything earth-shattering done, but it was good to spend the time filing, recycling, organizing. I know I will miss the time off, but it seemed to help to clear away some of the cobwebs as well.

Jennette Marie Powell had a post on burn-out that sounded all too familiar to me.  She linked to Louise Behiel’s post,  which really made me sit up straight in the chair.  Everything in my life has changed in the past six months:  cross-country move, new job, sons coming back home, this new wonderful writer that I’ve unearthed from the clay of the old life, problems with parents’ and mother-in-law, health problems with my birth family and in my own family.  I took a test that Louise linked to, and nearly pegged the chart, and that is just the day job.

The topper for today was to read Jenny Hansen’s post on grief.  I just seem to be reading things that slap me in the face lately.  I often say I’m too busy for grief, but I have been fooling myself. I said on Wednesday that maybe I’m not hungry enough to be a writer.  I don’t have the answer to that yet, but I do feel the pull of writing. This time I can’t shelve it again the way I did for so many years.  I need it. The past couple of weeks have been full of family problems, revelations, bad health, and not very bright futures.  Although I want to hide from all the pain, it is best that I face it and write through it.

I don’t have much to offer, but I am writing it all–the bad, the ugly, the hurtful, the sad.  I have no idea what I will do with it all, but I can’t keep it in.  Some of it may show up on the blog, some of it may not.  I have been heartened by the friendship offered me here, so I doubt I will go completely dark.  All of you are welcome to come poke me if I do.

I have gained many followers in the past couple of weeks. Welcome to LightningPen; Vergielyn  ; HCMFMovement  ; TheBetterManProject  ; Dianne  ; and EbookWorldMag

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